In the world of Business Relationship Management (BRM), fostering strong partnerships is paramount. However, not all business partners are easy to work with. Some may be skeptical, demanding, or even resistant to collaboration. As a BRM, your ability to navigate these challenges with empathy, patience, and a focus on creating a positive impact is key to turning difficult relationships into productive alliances.
One of the most powerful tools a BRM can leverage when dealing with difficult business partners is empathy. Rather than viewing them as adversaries, try to understand their concerns and pressures. What challenges are they facing? What past experiences may have shaped their skepticism? Actively listening to their frustrations and acknowledging their struggles can help bridge the emotional gap that often fuels resistance.
Empathy goes beyond just listening—it requires seeing the world through someone else’s eyes. Australian philosopher Roman Krznaric offers a compelling definition: “Empathy is the art of stepping imaginatively into the shoes of another person, understanding their feelings and perspective, and using that understanding to guide your actions.”
By considering their objectives, pain points, and the pressures they face from their own stakeholders, you create an environment where trust can grow. Business partners are more likely to lower their defenses and engage in productive discussions when they feel understood.
People are more inclined to work with those who share their values or demonstrate an understanding of what matters most to them. As a BRM, take time to identify what drives your business partners. Are they motivated by success, challenge, and ambition, seeking opportunities to take risks and achieve power and prestige? Or do they prioritize work-life balance, personal fulfillment, and philanthropy? Perhaps they value a combination of these factors. Understanding their personal values allows you to tailor your approach and communicate in a way that truly resonates with them.
Remember, people will behave in accordance with how they perceive their values will be best served. If a business partner is passionate about delivering value to customers, frame your discussions around how your IT initiatives can enhance customer satisfaction. If they are focused on advancing their own careers, highlight opportunities where your initiatives can help them drive success and make a measurable impact within the organization. By aligning your proposals with their values, you increase your credibility and make your recommendations more compelling and relevant toward their goals.
Difficult business partners often act out of frustration, believing that no one is genuinely invested in their success. Prove them wrong by showing consistent dedication to their needs. Simple actions such as following up on concerns, proactively offering solutions, and being available for discussions can build confidence in your reliability and commitment.
One effective way to demonstrate that you care is by addressing their concerns head-on. If they are resistant to an initiative, don’t dismiss their skepticism—engage in an open conversation about their reservations and work together to find solutions. When business partners feel heard and see that their concerns are taken seriously, they become more receptive to collaboration.
Empathy and understanding are crucial, but at the end of the day, results matter. Business partners need to see that working with you leads to tangible benefits. Consistently delivering on your commitments builds trust and credibility.
Ensure that projects are not only initiated but also successfully completed with measurable impact–after all, the BRM is accountable to their business partner. Set clear expectations, provide regular updates, and address roadblocks proactively. If a business partner is skeptical about IT’s ability to execute, prove them wrong by demonstrating competence and accountability. Quick wins can be especially effective in shifting their perception and reinforcing confidence in your ability to drive meaningful outcomes.
Successful BRMs understand that relationship-building is a long game. The goal is to establish trust so that business partners willingly collaborate with you in the future. Be a reliable, strategic ally who consistently adds value, and they will begin to see you as a trusted member of their team rather than an external entity.
This means staying engaged beyond just the immediate needs. Check in regularly, offer insights that are not solely IT-related, and look for ways to support their broader business objectives. When business partners feel that you genuinely care about their success and see you as someone who has their best interests at heart, their resistance diminishes, and a true partnership can emerge.
Even after applying these strategies, there will be situations where a business partner remains disengaged, skeptical, or outright resistant. When this happens, step back and assess the broader picture. Ask yourself: Is there something deeper at play? Organizational culture, past failures, or power dynamics could be influencing their behavior more than your direct efforts.
In these situations, persistence and adaptability are key. Seek opportunities to create value that positively impacts their business—whether by uncovering efficiencies, identifying growth opportunities, or addressing their pain points. Show that you are genuinely committed to their success. Some business partners need to see consistent effort over time before their perspective begins to shift. Consider indirect ways to influence them—engage trusted colleagues who have their ear, gain sponsorship from leadership, or create opportunities for them to witness success without direct engagement.
If, despite all efforts, progress is minimal, it may be necessary to reset expectations. Not every relationship can be immediately repaired or built. Acknowledge that some challenges take longer to overcome, and that forcing engagement may not be the right approach. Instead, position yourself as ready and willing to help when the opportunity arises. By maintaining professionalism, consistency, and a long-term perspective, you increase the chances that, when the business partner is ready, they will turn to you as a trusted advisor.
Dealing with difficult business partners is a challenge that every BRM will face. However, by practicing empathy, aligning with personal values, demonstrating care, and delivering results, you can transform even the most resistant stakeholders into trusted collaborators. The key lies in relationship-building—proving that you are not just an IT representative but a strategic partner who is invested in their success. Over time, this trust will lead to more productive engagements, stronger partnerships, and a more impactful BRM practice.
About the Author
Jeff Warren is the President of Barkley Consulting Group, a leading BRM consulting firm that helps organizations develop top BRM talent and create impactful BRM programs. Jeff has over 35 years of leadership and innovation experience as an IT executive, with a focus on business and technology. His “High-Performing BRM” class has empowered countless BRMs to excel in their roles and drive meaningful change within their organizations.
